what if

what if i stop running?
what if i actually stand in the rain?
better yet, what if i stand in the rain, the lightening, the hail and the thunder?
what if i don't run for shelter this time?
what if i stretch my arms wide open and lift my face toward heaven?
what then?

what if i stop trying to make jai shortertallerlighterdarkersmarterstupider?
what if it were truly ok to be who i am?
better yet, what if i take the time to search out who i am?
and what if i like what i find?
what if?

what if i come out from hiding
and scale my heart's wall
just enough to peer over the top?
just enough to see the caring hand reaching out for mine?
what if i take it?
what if i let you behind my self-made, super-protective fortress?
and what if you sit, stay and don't flinch at my mess after all?
what then?

what if i don't nod and agree when i really want to frown and disagree?
and so what if i don't like the movie, the meal, the dress, the song or the opnion?
and what if i worried more about giving voice to my own heart than pleasing someone else's?
what then?

and what if i live to be 102

and realize

every fear was completely unfounded?

and what if it takes me that long

to realize

there are no do-overs?

and what if life's what ifs,

good or bad,

are meant to be answered?

what then? what if?